How to be a Good Dad

Hey there Dauntless Daddies. I hope everyone is having a good week so far. It has been hectic over at my house but we are pushing through. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how to be a good dad. Most fathers go through the same thought process multiple times in their life. It’s normal to continually seek improvement in our lives and why not improve something as important as raising the next generation?

I wanted to go over the top tips I have on how to be a good dad. I plan on expanding this list as time goes on and as I continue to learn new things. Becoming a great father is a journey and takes time. So let’s dive in.

1. Take care of yourself

I put this as number one on the list because you can’t take care of your family if you don’t take care of yourself first. I know that this can be one of the most difficult things to do as a parent, as your kids are the number one priority. However, taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being will help improve all aspects of your life, and especially as a father. 

Not only will you feel better about yourself but your kids will see your example and want to follow you. Getting them involved with your healthy activities is another great way to both take care of yourself, as well as spend time with them.

2. Be an example that your kids can look up to

Continuing on with being an example, you want to make sure that you are an example to your kids in all aspects of your life. As their father, you hold a lot of influence on them and they will tend to follow your example. If you don’t take your fatherly duties seriously, then the world will take over and be the parent you aren’t.

All of us have at least one good example of a father figure in our life. Hopefully, it would be your own father or grandfather but even if you had a terrible dad you at least have an example of how not to do things as well. Find a man you respect as a dad and spend time with them. Again, fatherhood is a journey and while we can go it alone if we have to, I highly recommend that you have a “tribe” with you.

3. Spend time with your kids (and be present!)

This one is super obvious but nonetheless important to discuss. Everyone knows that spending time with your loved ones is important but it has become even more important in these times. With all of our technology and access to entertainment on our phones 24/7 it is too easy to be together as a family but not be present. How many times have you seen people at a restaurant who hardly talk to each other and just pass the time by on their phones? Is this really spending time with them?

Instead, do something where you are actively engaging with your kids. It could be reading a book, playing a board game together, or even a video game together. Just tonight while my wife was out having dinner with her sister and grandma, my daughter, two sons and I played a riveting game of Mario Party Superstars (yes, I totally crushed them). No matter what you do just spend quality time with your kids. You won’t regret it.

4. Love their mother

I talked about this a bit in my first post, but it bears mentioning it again because it is so important. Obviously, if you are in a loving relationship your kids will see and feel it. They won’t be as stressed because they know that despite what is going is going on around them in the world, they have parents that love each other and love them.

It will also greatly influence how your children will treat their mother and will show them how men should treat women and vice versa. So, show your love, just saying “I love you” isn’t enough. You need to love her through your actions. Always treat your wife with respect, dignity, and kindness, and never talk badly about her, even if you’re separated.

5. Don’t be overprotective or over parent

This is something that took me a few years to figure out. As dads we love our kids to death and we want what is best for them. Sometimes we think that we have to protect them from every little thing that can hurt them, both physically and mentally. The problem with overparenting is that your kids never learn how to take appropriate risks.

It can be incredibly difficult to do but we need to put aside our anxiety and let our kids learn and grow. Even if it means that they make mistakes and get hurt. Mistakes often make the best teacher. When we rob our kids of natural consequences we limit their ability to navigate in this increasingly difficult world we live in.

These are the first 5 tips on how to be a good dad. If you have any tips of your own please let me know and we can work on making this list into a powerful resource for all dads. Thanks!